Queer people are leaving Belarus to escape repression and feel comfortable, something they couldn’t do in their own country. The Hrodna.life editorial team spoke with those who chose Poland for emigration. Spoiler — religious Poles turned out to be tolerant, but Belarusian activists — not always. However, not everyone is ready to stay in Poland.
Nasta Bazar: «I don’t know of any cases where LGBTQ people had their children taken away, but the fear — was there»
After several dangerous situations during peaceful protests in Belarus in 2020, I left for Kyiv for a few weeks. But while I was there, it became clear that it wasn’t worth returning — they came to all the feminists I know, looking for the organizers of the women’s marches. Not that I was well-known and public at that time, but there was a possibility that there was interest in me as well. I decided to stay with my children and partner in Kyiv. There, in a wine bar in Podil, in November, my partner and I got married.
Like most people, we thought we would celebrate the New Year at home. But 2021 came, and it became clear that this was for a long time. In Ukraine, I certainly felt safer, so I started openly saying that I am a lesbian.
But this didn’t please a large part of the Belarusian diaspora in Ukraine. We received offensive comments, humiliation, and felt discriminated against. Due to psychological discomfort and potential danger, we decided to move, and in December 2021, we moved to Poland, where we still live.
Speaking about life in Belarus, I didn’t see the possibility of being an openly lesbian there. Primarily because I am a mother. I don’t know of any stories where children were taken away from LGBTQ people, but the fear of contact with social services and pressure — was there.
Even the neighbors didn’t know, although for the last year and a half I lived with my partner. People explained to themselves that two adult women living together were anything — sisters, friends, even mother and daughter, but not partners.
On April 12, 2024, the Ministry of Culture adopted Resolution No. 24, which amends the instruction «On Erotic Products.» In the instruction, manifestations of «non-traditional» relationships between people are listed in the same line as necrophilia, zoophilia, and pedophilia. This tendency to marginalize LGBTQ+ people cannot but worry both representatives of the community and human rights defenders.
A queer community (queer — a collective term for persons whose gender and sexual identity differ from the generally accepted ones — Hrodna.life) always exists in any society, even the most homophobic. In Belarus, of course, it also existed. From closed parties to public events and educational programs for LGBTQ people. It’s important to clarify — in my circle, there have always been absolutely different people, because I didn’t limit my communication based on phobias. But while I was in a heterosexual marriage, I wasn’t specifically looking for a community. After the divorce, I communicated a lot, went to parties and events organized by LGBTQ organizations that still existed in Belarus at that time. So yes, it used to be safe and comfortable in the queer community environment. Perhaps because it was also an activist environment, where there were mostly similar values and views.
We chose Poland for various reasons: I knew the language, I speak Belarusian with my children from birth, and Polish should have been easier for them than other languages. Plus, Poland is not far from Belarus (for some reason, this is still an important point). My wife and I understood that Poland is not the best country for the LGBTQ community, but in contrast to how things were in Belarus (both before 2020 and especially after), Poland seemed safer.
First, we moved to Krakow. The Malopolska Voivodeship is the most religious in all of Poland (According to the 2021 population census, the largest percentage of citizens who identify with any religion is in southeastern Poland: in the Podkarpackie (83.5%), Podlaskie (82.6%), and Świętokrzyskie (81.7%) voivodeships; in Malopolska — 75.8% - Hrodna.life). At first, I was really surprised by the number of churches and images of Jesus. And yet, having lived in Krakow for two and a half years, we never encountered homophobia from Polish women and men. On the contrary — we rented an apartment from a religious Pole who, of course, understood that we were a family, and this was not an obstacle, as it was with the landlords of the second apartment. At the summer camp where my daughter was, the counselors reminded my daughter to call her moms. Such moments are very pleasant and unexpected.
But, unfortunately, in almost three years of living in Poland, we have encountered homophobia from Belarusians many times. Offensive comments, jokes, inappropriate questions. It’s sad because it’s like we all left injustice and yearn for freedom, but it turned out that some yearn for freedom not for everyone.
The NGO sector in Belarus was destroyed in 2021. Most organizations continued their work outside Belarus. As an activist and feminist, I communicate a lot and cooperate with Belarusian organizations, initiatives, and foundations, as I continue to help Belarusians.
Now, in the fall of 2024, strong pressure on the LGBTQ community in Belarus has begun. The Belarusian queer community abroad, of course, has joined in to help.
I have also collaborated with Polish organizations, but more with feminist ones. For example, in the spring of 2024, together with Belarusian, Polish, and Ukrainian feminists, I organized a march in memory of Liza Herzen «Her Name Was Liza» in Warsaw, which gathered about 3,000 people. All the Polish NGOs I’ve had contact with are very open and willing to help. Sometimes it seems to me that we have isolated ourselves so much that we are trying to do everything ourselves, while Polish NGOs and activists have resources that they are willing to share.
Therefore, in my opinion, integration into the Polish queer community is quite possible. As for the non-queer environment, I feel good and calm now. I know that there is also homophobia, injustice, and violation of the rights of vulnerable groups in Poland, but it’s much less than in Belarus. And for now, I enjoy the fact that we are not asked questions when we say that we are a family, they don’t make a frightened facial expression, and they don’t threaten us. But, of course, we lack equal rights for everyone, the opportunity to have documentary confirmation of marriage.
Actually, after I came out, no one stopped communicating with me. Perhaps, I chose such an environment for myself. Of my close ones, only the father of my children has a negative attitude towards this, blaming me for «setting a bad example for the children.» It’s sad and a pity that we couldn’t maintain friendly relations after the divorce. He communicates with the children, but this doesn’t change the children’s attitude towards our family, where we all feel safe and calm.
As for my mom and dad, they love me, believe in me, trust me, and support me. For which I am very grateful to them.
Organization «Legal Initiative» wrote a report on the situation with the LGBTQ organization in Belarus. Nasta also worked on it. To support the LGBTQ community, she also calls for signing a petition created by TGHouse (a safe space for transgender people from Belarus — Hrodna.life). And also — to donate to help Belarusian queer people.
Dima: «Let these aunts grumble, I wasn’t going to hide»
The first time I fled Belarus, escaping repression, the second time — from Ukraine, escaping the war. If this doesn’t make me the hero of my own sitcom, then I don’t know what does.
I was born in Minsk, and if it weren’t for the political situation that unfolded in Belarus, I would have left anyway. As a gay man who has faced bullying all his life, I didn’t feel that this place could become my home. Even at school I was teased, on buses women and thugs (I don’t know how to replace this to make it sound more literary) laughed at me, looking at my fluffy fur coat. Being yourself in Minsk is like walking with a sign «I'm a faggot, beat me». But honestly, back then it seemed to me that I had some kind of mission — to be myself, to dress as you want, to behave as you want and to look as you want. And just show these people that we, queers, exist. Let these aunts grumble, I wasn’t going to hide.
Feeling like a queer person in Belarus is like living in a minefield. Clothes, tattoos, piercings, tinted hair (I never dyed it in bright colors, here we are talking about a tone higher than my natural hair) — all this immediately made me a target. Classmates, passers-by, and even random passengers — it seemed everyone had the right to discuss me, arrange fights with me, push me, and so on.
Belarusian legislation does not contain any norms that provide for liability for hate crimes against LGBT people, the human rights LGBT project «GayBelarus» reported in a report.
There is a queer community in Belarus, but it is small. At the same time, it is probably the most sincere and non-toxic queer community in the entire post-Soviet space. Our Belarusians are gold. But there are few of them, so the support is not particularly felt, plus there was also very little support from society.
In 2021, everything changed. I was an active participant in the protests after the elections, and this became a point of no return for me. I realized that I needed to save myself — otherwise there would be nothing left to save, and I emigrated to Ukraine with my boyfriend. It was easier to breathe there until the war started. Then I ended up in Poland — a country I never loved and where I was forced to move from Germany, which refused to legalize me because I am a gay man from Belarus, which for them, unlike Russia, does not seem so dangerous for LGBTQ people. They believe that Lukashenko does not threaten gays at all. Surrealism. But I won’t talk about that now.
I lived for a year and a half in Wroclaw, and recently moved to Warsaw. After Berlin, the situation in Poland looks super homophobic. This does not mean at all that there are no cool people here, but the general background is such that it is not easy for queers to live here. The first weeks in Warsaw were stressful: literally in the first days, a local «attacked» me and my boyfriend on the tram. Just because I was wearing a T-shirt with a print and a chain. He yelled at the whole tram that I was gay, while waving a bottle of «Soplica» (Polish vodka — Hrodna.life) near my nose. When I looked at the other passengers hoping to see support, I only saw a woman who was doubled over with laughter at the fact that I was being humiliated. The rest simply didn’t care, and I didn’t even know who was worse: this woman or him.
As for activism, it’s not easy here. There were three Pride parades in Warsaw this year, and Belarusians were among the organizers of all of them. Our guys are great for creating the visibility of struggle and unity, but honestly, I don’t see the point in this. It’s hard for me to invest in a country that so clearly shows that you are a stranger here, whose inhabitants send you to die in the war in Ukraine (although I am Belarusian), not to mention any queer movements and sentiments. Germany and Portugal (these are countries where I have experience not only traveling, but also living there for a while) are a completely different matter, that’s where I felt life! There, people look at you, not through you, there you want to be a part of something bigger.
My personal environment helps me cope: I have many wonderful friends here, but they are all, as a rule, Belarusians and Ukrainians, Poles as a society are closed to me.
My mom didn’t accept my orientation for a long time, but now the process has started. Unlike many parents in Poland and Belarus, she at least tries to understand. Plus, she loves my boyfriend very much and she has no choice but to accept us. And I also regularly arrange queer education in the form of recommendations for films and interesting videos on this topic, which I share with her. We also went to Berlin together, which, it seems to me, opened her eyes to many important things, because there queer people walk around the city holding hands and are not afraid of anything or anyone.
So here it is: I am gay, an activist, a refugee, and just a person looking for his place. And I know for sure: my place is not here.
Vara: «I never felt safe in Belarus»
I define myself as a queer person and in the definition of queerness I also add a state of instability and financial instability, because it affects the feeling of security and the (im)possibility of integrating into existing systems. And also, I always add that I do something else to earn money.
Being a queer person, I never felt safe in Belarus. I’ve been in a partnership for several years, and living together in rented apartments also caused anxiety. The image of «friends» for landlords, some silly little things like excuses for sharing a bed, or the unwillingness to rent an apartment because a traditional young couple, unlike us, is a guarantee of reliability and solvency.
I didn’t feel like a part of the queer-femme community of Belarus. And I was somewhat isolated, so the situation was something like this: if I were in danger, there would be people who would come to help (or repost), but connections for support or close communication were not built. On the other hand, it was also a somewhat privileged position, as I attended feminist or artistic events, my face was familiar, so I had some entry points into such spaces.
I have long wanted to emigrate from Belarus for various reasons: first, out of teenage snobbery, then because of the feeling of being unable to earn a normal living, fear for my identities and views, then — repression and torture of people, and later Belarus' participation in the war in Ukraine. During the periods of each of these reasons, I didn’t have money, so as a result, I moved at random: I went to an art residency in Germany and stayed there longer than planned, and then ended up in Poland.
It must be said that although I use «I», in fact, we went through all the stages together with my partner, inventing survival strategies on the go in changing conditions. We picked each other up in turn when one of us lost sources of income, work, or strength, we built a shared space in new housing and reinvented household habits.
We have been living in Warsaw for a year now, and it is getting easier to navigate the city. Here I applied for free consultations at the Belarusian Solidarity Center, and they helped me get out of despair and finally apply for legalization in Poland. And thanks to learning Polish, I try to attend more offline events, and this really helps me feel like I really live in this city. I try to read in Polish and find out what’s going on around me.
I don’t feel comfortable within the large circle of the diaspora. I don’t want to explain why other people (queers, migrants and refugees not from Belarus, feminists, and other vulnerable groups) continue to fight for their lives and their rights, so I interact less with people from the «bubbles». My tactic doesn’t seem useful to me at all, but at the moment I’m allocating my resources this way and I’m very grateful to the people who find the strength to explain and fight.
I follow what is being discussed in local queer communities. Their agendas, of course, are very different from Belarusian ones. For example, there were three Pride parades in Warsaw in the summer, and each one took place under different statements. Some queer people criticized the parades for collaborating with corporations and for their vague stance on Gaza and Israel, some criticized them for internal conflicts, which caused the parades to multiply. I think it’s useful to follow this, at least in order not to forget that queer people are not a homogeneous community, and different groups have different political views and strategies.
Now in Warsaw and other cities there are their own queer communities, which include Belarusians, Ukrainians, Poles and representatives of other countries. For several years now, Belarusians have had a separate place in the column at the Equality Parade, which takes place not only in the capital, but also in other Polish cities.
As in Belarus, I come out (always a series, not a one-time event) to people when I feel stable at the moment. Sometimes it’s easier for me to be the heroine of an article about queer people than to open up to a person in a dialogue, because I feel vulnerable to possible aggression or questions out of curiosity.
I am anxious and sometimes scared to be a queer person, but in Poland I feel calmer and more confident, perhaps because here I strive more to socialize (also one of the survival strategies) and find communities with views close to mine.
Yauhen: «The safe circle of friends is gone»
Yauhen, 26, project manager, born in Minsk, now lives in Warsaw.
Most of my friends moved abroad, almost no one was left in Minsk, and this was the first impetus for my emigration.
Soon I entered a European university, so I left Belarus, where it later became dangerous to return.
In Belarus, as a queer person, in general, I was fine, but you have to understand that this was because you can’t fully express yourself there. And having my own circle of friends where I could be myself, I felt comfortable. But, as I said: many left and the safe circle of friends is gone. Of course, at home I always had to be careful and watch my appearance. For example, walking with a rainbow shopper in Minsk can be dangerous. As for gay dating, it wasn’t easy either. Few people make contact, many are afraid.
I can’t say if there was a queer community in Belarus, maybe I didn’t know about it, because at that time I was just starting to discover myself as a queer person.
I like life in Poland from the point of view of a representative of the LGBTQ community, perhaps because I live in the capital and people here are more tolerant. Here I calmly walk with a rainbow shopper and no one cares about me. I like it. Only once did I encounter aggression towards me because of it. It was in the summer at a Belarusian music festival on the banks of the Vistula in Warsaw, where a man in a «Putin — Huylo» T-shirt began to insult me because of my appearance.
I am glad that Pride parades are held in Warsaw, this year there were three! I like that they are supported by the city hall (personally, the president of Warsaw, Rafal Trzaskowski, participates in the Pride column), members of the European Commission, and so on.
I didn’t develop a relationship with the Belarusian queer community in Warsaw. Perhaps because many there support Palestine, which is unacceptable to me. Because the rights of women and LGBTQ people are clearly violated there. I can’t imagine supporting a territory where women are forced to wear a burqa and queer people can be stoned.